2008: Dear Cousin Gilly, Ann, you might be a lovely person, but…

Dear Cousin Gilly,

I have thought about writing this letter for years and have found it very difficult to find the words.  Our brief and emotional meeting was a very important moment in my life.  Please know I share these words from a place of respect, peace and gratitude.  

When Ken and I came to Israel in 2008, he was excited to show me the country.  Most important of all was his plan to introduce me to his beloved family members knowing full well that I was not exactly what you were hoping for.  

During the evening we met, you couldn’t have been clearer in your reassurance that I was likely a decent person but equally in your disappointment that I had no plans to convert to Judaism should we marry and blend our families.  In fact, you were so troubled by this news that you left.  I had never experienced this kind of rejection, or even discrimination ever in my life.  It was important for me to have that experience and I know many have to deal with it each and every day.  

So, I look back on that moment with sadness that our marriage caused you such pain, but with better understanding of what it feels like to have the labels of who you are, what you believe in or what you look like overshadow the merits of who you actually are.   A human truth that people all over the world have had to deal with for centuries.  

Respectfully,

Ann Simonds

aka Annie Hoagland